[Heiji Kozenigata is a hard-boiled detective in pursuit of Chogoro the Foxfire.]
[When the authorities are warned that the Golden Fried Tofu Statue is going to be stolen, he violates his suspension and rushes to the scene.]
["Hard-Boiled Eggs Don't Crack"]
Hey, what's that sound?
Is it coming from outside?
Arley!
Davidson!
A-An intruder! From the front door!
Is it the Fox?!
No, she's wearing full body tights!
What?! Tights?! What's going on?!
She's on a rampage-shouting things like she can't control her youthfulness!
She might be heading for Mt. Fuji!
[Note: Biker gangs in Japan often drive to Mount Fuji for meetings.]
What's with that offbeat description of her rampage?
I may not look it, but I used to be a bad dude.
People who talk like that are usually the ones who haven't done much.
You know, like **** and ****.
Should you be mentioning names?
Never mind! Arrest anyone who looks suspicious! Alert mode, on!
Roger that.
Today, the game is over! Full-body tights!
No, it's the Fox!
Looks like they're moving out in full force.
Come on, if they attract too much attention, won't the Fox tuck his tail and run?
I don't think that'll happen.
He went to the trouble of announcing his crime.
The Fox would have anticipated this level of security.
He'll come for sure. A man always needs to expose himself to danger...
He's a bloodthirsty beast that can't live without it.
Hey! Hide! What're you doing?!
What're you drinking wine for?!
This isn't wine It's Camus.
I just can't stop shaking.
Seems the beast inside of me is getting antsy, as well.
He's totally scared-scared so stiff he's puking.
You're a fool. Stop drinking that wine already.
We all know you're not really hard-boiled.
This isn't wine. It's Camus.
Camus, Amuro, what's the difference?
[Note: Amuro is a main character from the first GUNDAM. Camus is a main character from Z GUNDAM.]
Stop using alcohol to get rid of your jitters!
Gin-san, please get a hold of yourself! You're puking...
C'mon, pull yourselves together. Ugh, what an awful sour smell!
What's the matter with you people?!
What're you doing there?
Huh?
It's you, Haji?
There's nothing suspicious over here!
Something smells...
Didn't I just see someone?
No, it was just me.
Haji, weren't you taken off duty today?
No, I couldn't stay home knowing the Fox is showing up.
You're quite the go-getter.
Uh! I already checked over there.
This is too close...too close. They'll spot us.
Take off those glasses. What're you wearing glasses with armor for?!
Glasses are armor for the eyes.
We're sa...
...fe...?
Do you remember a statue like this?
That's a statue of Leyasu.
Pin pon pan pon.
You are looking at a statue of the moment when a hard-boiled assassin
ambushed Lord Leyasu during an unguarded moment while the lord was hawking.
There's...
no such statue!
Kozenigata! Damn you!
You're on suspension! What're you doing here?!
Tsk, now I'll definitely be fired unless I apprehend the Fox and restore my honor.
Hmph, I'm looking forward to it.
Okay, let's head back to the bar and regroup.
You're not looking forward to it at all! You're running away!
What do you mean, "head back to the bar"? We never went to a bar!
That was a cheap roadside drinking stand!
That's a bar. I can't go into fancy bars-they make me nervous.
You really don't have an ounce of hard-boiled in you!
Haji!
Boss!
The...Fox?!
He appeared! The Fox appeared!
Apprehend-
What?! In the blink of an eye!
That bastard!
He's mocking us!
Boss... Did the Fox...just save me...?
Hmph... No way...
But that Fox somehow seems familiar...
We chased after the Fox, but were unable to capture him in the end.
We returned to the bar to regroup.
Hey, stop going on with your story!
How badly do you want to go to a bar?!
Can't you do anything without going to a bar first?!
After the bastard!
We decided to regroup at a bar or while playing a game of pool.
No playing pool, either! We're going, dummy!
No mistake. It's the Fox.
He's made it past each of our cordons and is nearing the Golden Fried Tofu Statue.
We can't do this with sheer numbers alone.
That's all right... To reach the Golden Fried Tofu Statue, he'll have to pass several traps.
It'd be impossible for even the Fox to get through that.
There! On monitor 12!
Our fellow officers are being attacked!
Hey! The Fox is showing up on monitor 9! Who is that on number 10?
The Fox?!
That can't be! Another Fox?!
Take a look! On number 2, as well!
Hey! He's on number 5 and number 6, too!
The cameras are being destroyed one after another!
What in hell's name is going on?!
The camera in this room is the only one left!
How can this be? What the hell's going on?!
Maybe you're being tricked by the Fox.
W-Wait!
It's no use, Gin-san... We'll never catch up to him!
He's just cruising! He's totally playing games with us!
Play with us, will he?! I'll catch that guy and kill him no matter what!
It...hurts...
It feels like no matter how much we run, we're not moving forward!
There are times when you think you're moving forward, but you're actually losing ground.
In the end, it's okay just as long as at the moment you die, you've advanced at least one step forward.
Shut up! Hearing that when I'm tired makes me really angry! Die, you!
Calm down, Shinpachi! Don't waste your energy!
But this is strange-we really ought to be moving more than this!
What is this?!
The floor is moving backwards!
Cut it out! Give me back the effort I expended!
What'll we do?! We're not moving forward at all!
Oh, I give up.
Faster! Run faster!
We'll be skewered! Faster! The spikes are gaining on us!
Don't ask the impossible! My legs are so wobbly, they're like Bambi's when he was born!
I can't use my ears to fly, you know!
[Note: Refers to Disney's Dumbo.]
That's it! Run on the walls! Jump like Bambi!
Heaven...
give me strength!
Ow, ow, ow. My crotch is going to split! It's going to split!
Wha'tre you doing?!
Pull me out quickly! Pull me out!
Coin toss!
Grab on to me, everybody!
Kozenigata-san! You really can succeed if you try!
I'm tangled.
We can't grab hold of you!
What'll we do?
There!
Nice, Shinpachi!
Wait, this isn't working! Too many people! Go somewhere else!
Don't be so cold, Shinpachi-kun.
It's not going to hold! It's at its limit!
Boss is at his limit, too!
But I kinda like this...
Forget that idiot boss of yours!
This is bad! What do we do now? Another one's coming!
We're in trouble again...
It's old lady luck! We've got it made!
What's an old lady doing here?! Why is there an old lady?! Who slid her down here?!
But we're saved. I wonder where that old lady came from?
Dammit! Why do we have to carry an old lady we've never seen before?!
Give me a break! I'm at my limit! We're ignoring the next old lady who comes down!
Forget it! I'm done with old ladies!
Hey! Now it's an old man! What's going on?
Who is he?! Who's old man is he?! Ignore him!
Don't look! We can't carry any more!
Good-bye, dear. I love you.
Old man! We won't let you say good-bye!
She's right next to you! Your old lady's right next to you! Tell her what you said!
Hey, what's with this?! What kind of harassment is this?
We've got a family here! Who's passing them down?!
Treat your elders with respect, dummy!
Ack! Another person is coming!
Hey!
You're the son, right?
What's wrong with you! You should be looking after your father!
Gin-san, how did you know?
He looks just like his father around the corners of his eyes!
Father, Mother...about the inheritance. I've decided that I will take it all.
The others complained quite a bit, though.
He's talking about an inheritance when his father and mother are in a situation like this!
We can let this one be skewered, right? Go lay a nest egg, you bastard!
Three generations share the same eyes corners!
You have to live! No matter how evil you are, a child needs his parents!
It doesn't look good, Gin-san! It's almost on us!
You fool! This family's lives depend on us!
It's no use! We're going to die!
Arley...
[Note: Wordplay on Harley Davidson.]
Davidson!
Since ancient times, the fox has been revered as a deity of the fields; a servant of the gods of rice.
A Fox deity, if you will.
A statue of the fox's favorite food made of gold shows how popular I am in Edo.
But while people call me a god, it's interesting that others call me a monster that tricks people.
The Nine-tailed fox, Tamamo-no-mae, Dakki, Houji and a variety of other scary monsters.
[Note: Tamamo-no-mae (Beautiful Fox Witch). Dakki (Fox demon). Houji was the concubine of the Ancient Chinese sovereign King You of Zhou.]
Is the Fox a god, or a monster? And what does that make me?
Cut the crap, you lowlife!
You're neither a god, nor a monster. You're nothing but a filthy burglar.
We'll settle ten years of bad blood right here.
Fox. It's time to pay the piper. Give yourself up peacefully.
Mr. Kozenigata, I'm tired of hearing those same words for ten years.
You're a persistent man.
No matter how many times I give you the slip, you always show up again.
No matter how many times I knock you down, you crawl back up again.
Why don't you give up already?
Because I'm hard-boiled.
A hard-boiled egg doesn't crack easily.
And besides, I hate thieves.
When I was kid, thieves killed my entire family.
Evil thieves like you who wanted to get the job done fast.
I couldn't forgive people like that, so I took this job.
But then I met an odd thief.
He targeted only villains who took money from the weak.
He never spilled any blood and never used the money he stole for his own gain.
He gave every bit of it away.
He broke the law, but always had his own way of doing things.
Chogoro the Foxfire, the chivalrous thief.
Back then, I was at the very bottom. I don't know how many times he frustrated me to tears.
But as I pursued him time after time, I began to feel something other than hatred for him.
What I was constantly pursuing wasn't just the thief in you.
Fox...why'd you sink so low? Back then, you weren't...
Stop right there, Mister.
An officer shouldn't say such things to a thief.
And besides...never tell a thief he's "sunk low."
Thieves like me were low to begin with.
Fox...you...
Exactly.
No matter how much people make a fuss about being a chivalrous thief,
it doesn't change that fact that you're robbing and stealing.
No killing, no raping, no stealing from the poor?
A thief is a thief no matter how you try to sugarcoat it.
They're...
Eight...Foxes?
No...
If you include that one, there are nine. What the hell's going on here?
So it was your doing, after all, Chogoro.
Those advance warnings of crimes that we never recalled sending...we took them as invitations to us.
No, no... I retried from that line of work and was enjoying retired life.
But then recently, crimes one after another popped up that I had no recollection of committing.
It bothered me so much I couldn't sleep, so I woke up.
Fox, are you suggesting the recent heinous robberies that have caused a stir on the streets
weren't your doing, but rather...the work of these imposters?!
Unfortunately, we aren't imposters.
We are all successors of the name and skills of "Fox."
We are the Nine-Tails Gang of Thieves.
Once upon a time, during the period of warring states,
we were agents sent into enemy domains.
We were a group of professionals in the art of thievery, with origins dating back to the ninja.
We slash in the darkness of night, bringing chaos to the world.
So you come from the same roots as the ninja. Nasty...
In other words, you're the strongest, dumbest thieves around.
Chogoro, old comrade. We finally meet again.
It's been 30 years since you disappeared in Kyoto.
I never imagined people would be calling you a chivalrous thief.
You couldn't even kill a child and ran away. My how big you've become.
We figured if we destroyed the false image you'd built up in Edo, you'd come running.
We'll make you pay the price for your betrayal 30 years ago.
Betrayal? I don't know anything about that. That's crap.
I never once thought of you as my comrades.
Shut up, traitor!
Gentlemen!
The stairs! Hurry!
Gas!
A trap set to protect the Golden Fried Tofu!
This way, everyone! Hurry! Hurry before the next trap engages!
The stairs turned flat!
Oil!
I'm slipping!
If we fall covered with this much oil, we'll be burned in an instant!
It's hot...hot... Or should I say painful!
What? Survivors!
Shinpachi! Kagura! Go!
What's the matter with you?!
Got two of them!
Just like you planned!
Perfect. Per-
Uh-oh! Two. Behind you! Look out!
Run!
Don't worry about anything else-just ram them! Ram them!
Don't worry! I'll catch you!
Try to take them with you if you can!
Are you sure? Absolutely? Make absolutely sure you'll catch me!
You'll be fine! Hurry!
Okay! Here goes!
What was that?!
What good's it do to ram us?!
Gin-san! Haji-san! I'm falling! Kozenigata-san!
My comrades!
But the bad guys are near.
What the heck! Don't waver! My comrades come first!
Coin Toss!
Why?!
Why'd you ram into your comrades?!
What kind of decision is that?!
Well...because I was scared.
You ran away?!
I can't keep this up! It's no use...I'm...
Fox-san!
Grab my hand, quickly!
O-Okay!
Fox-san!!
Fox!
Did you forget the Nine-Tails were comprised of nine men?
Did you think we wouldn't have filled your spot after you left?
Sorry to inform you, but I've been following you; looking for an opening for quite some time.
I've been looking forward to the moment when I would thrust this blade into you.
That memory is still etched in my mind.
I watched from behind as you took the child and a box of 1000 gold coins
from the mansion we broke into,
set fire to mansion while the others were still inside, and then ran off.
Mother! Father!
Listen to me. Don't let go of this box of 1000 gold coins, no matter what happens.
As long as you have this, no one-not your relatives nor strangers-can do anything bad to you.
But you mustn't use the money all at once. Spend it a little bit at a time as small change.
Understand?
Don't give up. A man must be strong.
Live your life hard-boiled.
Farewell.
What the?!
Fox!
Fox-san!
Forgive me...Mister...for not telling you until now.
That wasn't very nice.
So I've been pursuing the man to whom I owe my life?
Yeah...
Your pursuit didn't bother me in the least.
You'd always miss catching me in the end.
Complaining to your foe every day.
Doesn't that make you a failure as an officer?
I see... No wonder I could never capture you.
You were...always watching over me.
Boss...You were never able to apprehend me in the end.
It was a total victory for me.
No, I won. I can bring you back alive.
Before you go to jail, you'll have to join me for some Camus.
Not Camus.
Shochu.
Later, not one fox's body was found in the aftermath of the fire.
Were they burned to ashes, or were none of them dead?
They were, after all, the elusive Foxes.
There was no way to know if he was alive or dead.
However, I did know one thing...
One more place...
I don't feel so good.
On these hard-boiled nights, I thirst for a drink.
There are wounds that a man can only heal with liquor...
Huh? Was there a bar here before?
It's not a bar. You've really lost it...
Welcome.
Master... Camus, on the rocks.
Here you go. Shochu.
Not shochu. Call it Camus, Master.
Don't call me master. You can just call me Pops, sir.
Huh? That's...
That's right, I'm...the hard-boiled detective, Heiji Kozenigata.
Wh-Who are you...?
Hijikata's corpse makes 4016 bodies.
Hijikata the fool's corpse makes 4017 bodies.
Hijikata the dummy's body makes 4018 bodies.
Hijikata the moron's body makes 4019 bodies.
Hijikata the bastard's body makes 4020 bodies.
Hijikata the pile of shit's body makes...
Count sheep!
Huh? Morning already? I couldn't sleep at all, dammit.
Of course you can't sleep counting grotesque things like that!
Thank you. Did you come just to wake me up, body number 4021?
Who're you calling body 4021?!
Go wash your face and change right away.
There's someone to see you.
[Next episode... "It's Often Difficult to Sleep When You're Engrossed with Counting Sheep"]
[The visitor turned out to be Okita's sister, Mitsuba.]
[The mingling of feelings and the memory from that day...]